It's Christmas time..
Grandpa got run over by a John Deer -Cledus
Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But after suing John Deere, I believe...
He'd been a-guzzlin' old Jack Daniels
And smokin' that wacky weed-
He mixed it with his medication
And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice.
When we found him Christmas mornin'
We thought he had a heart attack.
But he had tar prints on his forehead
And incriminatin' hickies on his neck.
(ON HIS WHAT???)
Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But after suing John Deere, I believe...
But we're all ashamed of Grandpa.
He took Grandma's death too well.
Started watchin' porno movies
And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle.
It's a better Christmas without Grandpa
Last year in church, he mooned the choir.
At first, we thought it was Alzheimer's,
But looking back, we realized he was wired.
Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But after suing John Deere, I believe...
Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit
And they awarded me two mil.
You know Grandpa didn't leave me nuthin',
But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed.
Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras
Turned up on the grand jury,
(laughs) I bribed 'em like Johnny Cochran
Did when they set O.J. Simpson free.
GUIL-TY!!!
Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But after suing John Deere, I believe...
Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But after suing John Deere, I believe...
Christ-mas -Cledus
I don't want another fruitcake,
I don't need another ugly tie...NO!
Heard they had a sale on go karts
Down at Wal Mart
Ho ho a good buy.
Got no money in my pocket.
Can't believe it's Christmastime.
It's the crowds that bug me
Stuck in traffic like this.
It's kids causing a commotion.
It's shop at your own risk.
It's that Tickle Me Elmo,
It's (dang) un-find-able
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Un-shopp-able!
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
It can make a feller uptight.
I must have been to fifteen stores or more.
All I wanted was a Lite Brite
But they sold out last night...of course.
Time I buy my kids a swing set,
I'd be broke forevermore...
Tis the season of givin'.
Tis that time of year.
Twas the night before Christmas,
Twas a pain in the rear.
It's the credit card payment,
Its (ahhh) un-payable...
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Return-able.
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
You'll see Santa hop the rooftops
Rudolph's nose will be glowin' so bright.
There's a whole lot of parents losin' sleep
Nuthin' silent about this night...
Oh, Christmas is pure promotion
Let us not forget why...
We're all out shoppin'.
We're all out buyin'.
It's the off-key caroling.
Grandma's mistletoe kiss.
It's that one string of light bulbs
You can never get lit.
It's that gallon of egg nog,
It's so (uhhh) undrinkable.
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Decorate-able.
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
It's the things you buy me baby.
It's the things I buy you darlin'...yeah.
It's the crowds that bug me
Stuck in traffic like this.
It's kids causing a commotion.
It's shop at your own risk.
Its that Faith Hill CD.
They're all sold out-able.
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
Beautiful.
Christ-mas!!! Christ-mas!!!
It's the things you buy me baby.
It's the things I buy you darlin'...yeah.
Merry Christmas from the whole Fam Damily -Cledus
Twas the fight before Christmas
When all through the house
No furniture left standing, no TV or couch
Our aquarium, heck they even knocked over my Chia Pet
MeMaw was flung 'cross the room by her hair
By her sister Ethel who never fought fair
LET'S GET READY TO TUMBLE!!!!!!!
The children all wrestled and jumped off the beds
Dropping elbows and knees on each other's heads
And MaMaw wth her frying pan and Pa with his bat
Cleared half the room in ten seconds flat
The whole brawl began from an innocent matter
When Aunt Flo thought Eugene said "She looks a whole lot fatter"
She knocked him through the window he fell with a crash
Tore down the gutters and busted his LEG REALLY BAD
You ought to have saw it
It looked like he'd been in a motorcycle wreck
No Kiddin
Yeah awful I couldn't turn to look at it
You see both sides of our family have never gotten along
And every holiday something always go wrong
You ain't supposed to fight but spread joy in this season
But when they get the nog they just look for a reason
In no time at all everybody joined in
And right there we squared off with our closest of kin
It's a time for givin said Uncle Bill
As he gave a black eye to his brother-in-law Phil
I heard somebody say "It's the thought that counts
And right now I'm thinking about knocking your butt out"
Presents and fists flew all over the room
And NaNa had some fancy moves with the broom
She took out three cousins and knocked down the tree
And I ducked just in time she swung out at me
It's my favorite time of year
Dad always has too much beer
Gets on the roof and hunts reindeer
Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
Tie the antlers on the dog
Save some shine for Santa Claus
From all the in-laws and outlaws
Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
I crawled to the phone Lord it seemed like a mile
And called 9-1-1 which we keep on speed dial
In a matter of minutes out the window appeared
Flashing blue lights and the Sherrif John Deere
Just then six men burst through the door
Some yelling "HEY IT'S US" Some "GET ON THE FLOOR"
A stray punch from Grandpa found the sherrif's chin
And just for good measure he clocked him again
It took all 6 cops to get Grandpa in cuffs
You know he gets feisty when he runs out of snuff
We all stopped our fighting and cheered Grandpa on
Heck I thought he could take them I guess I was wrong
As they dragged him outside he yelled "I'VE BEEN FRAMED"
He was kicking and screaming and calling them names
"You (bleep) You (bleep)
Let me go you (bleep)
You donut eatin stupid (bleep) son of a (bleep)"
We stood on the porch as did all our neighbras
Who always took interest in our family's behavior
"Mind your own business" we heard Grandma shout
And "We'll take back the presents and then come bail you out"
By now we'd forgotten what we were fighting for
We were battered and bruised but united once more
Then we all joined hands and sang "Violent Night"
Violent Night
And we heard Grandpa exclaim as they drove off out of sight:
"Merry Christmas to all...MAN that was a good fight!!!!"
Deck your neighbor deck the halls
Tis the season for a brawl
From all of us to all of y'all
Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily
Leroy the redneck reindeer -Joe Diffie
Well you've all heard the story
About Rudolph and his nose
Well I'll tell you a Christmas tell
That never has been told
Well you may think you've heard it all
But you ain't heard nothin' yet
About that crazy Christmas
That the North Pole can't forget
Rudolph was under the weather
And had to call in sick
So he got on the horn
To his cousin Leroy
Who lived out in the sticks
He said Santa's really counting on me
And I hate to pass the buck
Leroy said Hey I'm on my way
And he jumped in his pick-up truck
When Leroy got to the North Pole
All the reindeer stiggered and laughed
They never seen a deer in overalls
And a John Deer tracktor hat
Well Santa stepped in
And said just calm down
Cuz we all got a job to do
Like it or not Leroy's in charge
And he's gonna be leading you
And it was
Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
Hooked to the front of the sleigh
Delivering toys to all the good ol' boys
And girls along the way
He's just a down home party animal
Two Steppin all across the sky
He makes jingle bells with the rebel yell
And made history that night
Before that night was over
Leroy had changed there tune
He had them scootin a holf
On every single roof
By the light of a neon moon
Santa wrapped his bad with the dixie flag
He as having the time of his life
You could here him call
Merry Chistmas Yall
And all of yall a goodnight
And it was
Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
Hooked to the front of the sleigh
Delivering toys to all the good ol' boys
And girls along the way
He's just a down home party animal
Two Steppin all across the sky
He makes jingle bells with the rebel yell
And made history that night
He makes Jingle Bells with the rebel yell
And made history that night
Redneck 12 days of Christmas -Jeff Foxworthy
Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart!
(Jeff) Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Hey Bubba, you got gypped -- there's 12 days to Christmas.
(Jeff) I know that, I got it covered. Look over in the corner.
That's yours too?
Yea!
Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Man, this ain't normal Christmas presents!
No, they're redneck gifts!
Redneck gifts?
Yea, you know, like
if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells"
Perhaps if you think "The Nutcracker" is something you did off a high-dive.
Or, if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.
Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.
What's wrong with that?
I didn't say anything wrong with it...
It's hard to beat...
Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Well, you can't really consider it a Christmas
'less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama.
You're not listenin' to me!
Get the car key outta your ear.
That's where the nine years probation comes in...
I'm gonna do it for ya again.
Now listen...
Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Merry Christmas Ya'lls. And to all ya'lls a good nite. :D
These Days..
here's a few songs from the cds i recently got..
These Days -Rascal Flatts
Hey baby, is that you?
Wow, your hair got so long
Yeah, yeah, I love it, I really do
‘Norma Jean’, ain’t that the song
We’d sing in the car
Drivin’ downtown, top down
Making the rounds
Checking out the bands on Doheeney Avenue
Yeah, life throws you curves
But you learned to swerve
Me I swung and I missed
And the next thing ya know
I’m reminiscin’, dreaming old dreams
Wishing on wishes
Like you would be back again
I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I head off to my job
Guess not much has changed
Punch the clock
Head for home
Check the phone, just incase
Go to bed
Dream of you
That’s what I’m doing these days
Someone told me after college
You ran off to Vegas
You married a rodeo cowboy
Wow, that ain’t the girl I knew
Me I’ve been a few places
Mostly here and there once or twice
Still sortin’ out life, but I’m doing alright
Yeah, it’s good to see you too
Hey girl, you’re late
And those planes, they don’t wait
But if you ever come back around
To this sleepy old town
Promise you’ll stop in
To see an old friend
And until then...
I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I head off to my job
Guess not much has changed
Punch the clock
Head for home
Check the phone, just incase
Go to bed
Dream of you
That’s what I’m doing these
I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
Love You Out Loud -Rascal Flatts
I have always been a little shy
I've always been the quiet
Type till now
And I never let my feelings show
I never let anybody know
Just how much I was so
Deep in love
But now that you're in my arms
I'm gonna stand on a rooftop
Climb up a mountaintop
Baby, scream and shout
I wanna sing it on the radio
Show it on a video
Baby, leave no doubt
I want the whole world to know
Just what I'm all about
I love to love you out loud
You keep bringing out the
Free in me
What you do to my heart
Just makes me melt
And I don't think I can resist
But I've never been one to
Kiss and tell
A love this true can't be
Subdued
So I'm gonna let out a yell
I'm gonna stand on a rooftop
Climb up a mountaintop
Baby, scream and shout
I wanna sing it on the radio
Show it on a video
Baby, leave no doubt
I want the whole world to know
Just what I'm all about
I love to love you out loud
Baby, I want the whole world to see
Just how good your love looks on me
I'm gonna stand on a rooftop
Climb up a mountaintop
Baby, scream and shout
I wanna sing it on the radio
Show it on a video
Baby, leave no doubt
I want the whole world to know
Just what I'm all about
I love to love you out loud
Baby, I love to love you out loud
Yeah, I love to love you out loud
My Worst Fear -Rascal Flatts
Last night you gave me a kiss
You didn't know it, but I was awake when you did
You were quiet, you were gonna let me sleep
So I just laid there pretending to be
You said some things you didn't
Know I could hear
And the words "I love you" never
Sounded so sincere
It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving
Now that I know just how much you care
You finally gave me one good reason not to go
But staying here is my worst fear
This morning I rolled out of bed
Recalling all the sweet things you said
This was the day I was gonna hurt you bad
Called out your name, but you
Didn't answer back
I searched the house to find out what was wrong
Like a ton of bricks, it hit me you were gone
It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving
Now that I know just how much you care
You finally gave me one good reason not to go
But staying here is my worst fear
All along I knew that there was
Something missing
And only one thing left to do
I had to leave behind this life that
We'd been living
But the only thing that left was you
It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving
Now that I know just how much you care
You finally gave me one good reason not to go
But being alone is my worst fear
And staying here is my worst fear
You -Rascal Flatts
Every road that
I've been down
The only truth that
I have found
There's only one thing
I can't live without
You
I was searching
For something I thought
I would never find
Losing my mind
In and out of bad love
I thought I was born to lose
Then came you
I thought I knew what the real
Thing was
But nothing shakes me like
Your love does
I've been hypnotized
Now I realize
Every road that
I've been down
The only truth that
I have found
There's only one thing
I can't live without
You
Every time I get lost
In a temperamental mood
You still stay cool
Just when I think that this
Life's about to drive me insane
You take the reins
Every time I feel I'm drifting
Off course
You're my compass, you're
My one true north
In a mixed up world
You make sense to me girl
Every road that
I've been down
The only truth that
I have found
There's only one thing
I can't live without
You
Yeah, every road girl
Leads me to you
And baby, that's all I need
To know
Every road that
I've been down
The only truth that
I have found
There's only one thing
I can't live without
You
Every road that
I've been down
The only truth that
I have found
There's only one thing
I can't live without
You
Every road that I've been
Down in my life
Every time I feel I'm taking off
Every road that I've been
Down in my life
Every road, girl, leads
Me to you
Yes it did, yes it did
Every road girl
Every road leads me to you
the next ones are from Reba's new album "Room to Breathe"
My Sister -Reba McEntire
Hey girl it's me i just called to tell you hi
Call me when you get this
Haven't talked lately so hard to find the time
Give the boys a big kiss
Tell them that I miss them
By the way I miss you too
I was thinking just today
About how we used to play
Barbie dolls and make-up
Tea parties dress up
I remember how we'd fight
We made up and laughed all night
Wish we were kids again
My sister my friend
Oh yeah before I forget I met someone
I think I really like him
I was wondering if I'm jumping the gun
By going out on a limb
And invite him home for Christmas
To meet the family
*Seem like just yesterday
You brought home old what's his name
He had been drinking
What were you thinking
After dinner he passed out
We can laugh about it now
We've learned a lot since then
My sister my friend
Do you think you could come and see me sometime soon
We could just hang out like we used to
It's late and I should go
But I can'y hang up the phone
Until I tell you
What I don't tell you enough
Even though at times it seemed
We were more like enemies
I'd do it all again
My sister my friend
*hmm... sounds like someone i know. ;)
Room To Breathe -Reba
You ain't done nothing wrong but I think we need to talk
You might be the one but before we go too far
I need a little time to figure out my heart
Who could ask for more but I need to know for sure
I haven't been myself from the minute that we met
I ran into your world and kinda walked out on myself
All those dreams I had,I began to second guess for you
One too many questions until I know the truth
I need room to breathe
A little time to think
To make sure I don't lose me
I need room to breathe
I know you're not to blame and I swear there's no one new
This has to do with me and not a thing to do with you
So don't try to understand you don't have a thing to prove to me
If you really love me just give me what I need
I need room to breathe
A little time to think
To make sure I don't lose me
I need room to breathe
Please don't try to take this wrong
Please don't turn away
I just don't want to look back and say
I need room to breathe
A little time to think
To make sure I don't lose me
I need room to breathe
Room to breathe
Sky Full Of Angels -Reba
Preacher man talking about the end of time
Well, Lord knows I'm ready, it don't worry my mind
You see, I ain't afraid of nothing because I believe
I've got a sky full of angels watching over me
You can take my possessions
You can take all my gold
Nobody but Jesus gonna take my soul
Walk through darkness
I don't need no light
My faith in Jesus gonna be my guide
You see, I ain't afraid of nothing because I believe
I've got a sky full of of angels watching over me
You can take me for granted
You can take all my gold
Nobody but Jesus gonna take my soul
River's rising but I got no doubt
My sweet Savior's gonna pull me out
You see, I ain't afraid of nothing because I believe
I've got a sky full of angels watching over me
You can take my possessions
You can take all my gold
Nobody but Jesus gonna take my soul
I ain't afraid of nothing because I believe
I've got a sky full of angels watching over me
I ain't afraid of nothing because I believe
I've got a sky full of angels watching over me
Somebody -Reba
At a diner down on Broadway they make small talk
When she brings his eggs and fills his coffee cup
He jokes about his love life
And tells her he's 'bout ready to give up
That's when she says,"I've been there before
But keep on lookin' 'cause maybe who you're lookin' for is..."
Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there is somebody
Across town in a crowded elevator
He can't forget the things that waitress said
He usually reads the paper
But today he reads a strangers face instead
It's that blue-eyed girl from two floors up
Maybe she's the one maybe he could fall in love with
Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there is somebody
Now they laugh about the moment that it happened
A moment they'd both missed until that day
When he saw his future in her eyes
Instead of just another friendly face
And he wonders why he searched so long
When she was always there at that diner waiting on
Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right on by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there is somebody
a lyric-posting wouldn't be complete without a song from Cledus..
Martie, Emily, and Natalie -Cledus T. Judd (parody of Brad Paisley's Celebrity)
They come off sounding pretty pompous, each time they open their mouth
You can't believe it when you hear it, what they let come rollin' out
Don't know why they're so super-hateful, ain't like they've got it so bad
If they'd do more singin' and less talkin' I think we'd all be glad
Singin' 'bout Natalie
Adios Martie and Emily
They think that they're too cool
The chicks no longer rule
All country fans agree
Now they're threatenin' to quit
Like we really give a (YEAH!)
They say they're goin' pop
Garth, he tried and flopped
But we won't soon forget
Martie, Em and Natalie
Was it the lack of nominations at this year's CMA's? (aww)
That got them tradin' in their banjos for a drum machine and DJ's
Next thing you know they'll be on Soul Train out on the road with Eminem
They'll put some bling-bling in their videos and we'll all make fun of them (laughter)
Singin' 'bout Natalie
Adios Martie and Emily
The only folks in line
Are holding picket signs
And burning Chicks CDs
Wasn't it a sight to see
Them posing naked on a magazine
Now everybody knows
They're overexposed
If you know what I mean
Martie, Em and Natalie
So go load up your tour bus and pull on out
'Cause your careers may soon be done
You bunch of multi-platinum jackass millionaires
Hey, hey, rock 'n' roll, here they come!
Singin' 'bout Natalie
Adios Martie and Emily
We hate to see you leave
Why can't we be friends
Please don't be mad at me
Martie, Em and Natalie
See ya later Natalie
You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
hehe.. :D that's all for now folks. bye!
Thoughts coming from an email..
as i'm typing up the email to nigel about how i feel, this song is constantly running through my head. it fits pretty good too..
Is There Life Out There -Reba McEntire
She married when she was twenty
She thought she was ready
Now she's not so sure
She thought she'd done some living
But now she's just wonderin'
What she's living for
Now she's feeling that there's something more
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
She's always lived for tomorrow
She's never learned how
To live for today
She's dyin' to try something foolish
Do something crazy
Or just get away
Something for herself for a change
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
There's a place in the sun that she's never been
Where life is fair and time is a friend
Would she do it the same as she did back then
She looks out the window and wonders again
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
thats something i've been wondering for awhile now..
Karaoke Night!
i really love this song, and
really want to sing it.. :)
One Honest Heart -Reba McEntire
Times are tough on an honest heart.
People don't follow through with what they start.
Lyin' eyes looking at me up and down.
Makin' talk that's only cheap.
Makin' promises they never keep.
But I keep lookin' for what I still haven't found.
One honest heart.
That I can believe in.
Two lovin' arms that will never let me go.
One good man that I can count on.
It shouldn't be so hard.
Finding one honest heart.
Now I've been close a time or two.
I thought I saw my dreams comin' true.
But I was just livin' in a fairy tale.
I won't play the fool again.
I won't play a game that I can't win.
But I still have faith and I keep tellin' myself. There's...
One honest heart.
That I can believe in.
Two lovin' arms that will never let me go.
One good man that I can count on.
It shouldn't be so hard.
Finding one honest heart.
I don't think I'm asking too much.
Just once in my life I want to be touched by...
One honest heart.
That I can believe in.
Two lovin' arms that will never let me go.
One good man that I can count on.
It shouldn't be so hard.
Finding one honest heart.
One good man.
One honest heart.
That I can believe in.
Two lovin' arms that will never let me go.
One good man that I can count on.
It shouldn't be so hard.
Finding one honest heart.
One honest heart.
here's another that i really love..
Strawberry Wine -Deana Carter
He was working through college on my grandpa's farm.
I was thirsting for knowledge and he had a car.
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child.
When one restless summer we found love growing wild.
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path.
It's funny how those memories they last.
Like strawberry wine and seventeen.
The hot July moon saw everything.
My first taste of love oh bittersweet.
Green on the vine.
Like strawberry wine.
I still remember when thirty was old.
And my biggest fear was September when he had to go.
A few cards and letters and one long distance call.
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall.
But year after year I come back to this place.
Just to remember the taste.
Of strawberry wine and seventeen.
The hot July moon saw everything.
My first taste of love oh bittersweet.
Green on the vine.
Like strawberry wine.
The fields have grown over now.
Years since they've seen the plow.
There's nothing time hasn't touched.
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence.
I've been missing so much.
Like strawberry wine and seventeen.
The hot July moon saw everything.
My first taste of love oh bittersweet.
Green on the vine.
Like strawberry wine.
and i can't forget this one: ;)
My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy -Cledus T. Judd
(spoken)
Hi ho silver, AWAY!
After my show, thought I'd have a little fun
Hopped on a house, lord he sure could run
Well, I got a butt kickin when the police finally caught me
("Give me back my horse!!")
Not a moment too soon, Tim McGraw jumped in
Did his best Jackie Chan, caught a cop on the chin
Now I don't understand why they's arrestin' me
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy, I really turn him on
He's always staring at me, oh when them guards are gone
I'm runnin out of cigarettes, he's asking me to dance
He says I'm lookin good in these orange pants
I really wish Tim McGraw was here to protect me
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy
I'd give anything to be back on my bus
I'm hidin' in my bunk, but he's climbin' on up
Swears all he wants me to do is sing him one of my songs
Says he's got a dream, I'm afraid of what it is
You're never gonna see me on a horse after this
I only get one call, I hope that Faith is home
(answer the phone!)
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy, he just won't leave me alone
He's blowin' kisses at me, and I'm a'duckin' em all
I hate to break it to him, I'm in no mood for romance
What part of no don't this fool understand?
Well, I'm in big trouble if someone don't come and get me
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy
Well one day behind bars is long enough,
'Cos when I drop that soap, won't his eyes light up!!!
My cellmate thinks I'm, ugh,
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy, I really turn him on
My name is Kenny Chesney, this ain't where I belong
Me and Tim's in trouble, buddy, one thing is for sure
George Strait's gonna kick us off his george strait tour
I'd call Tracy Lawrence but he's in the next cell beside me
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy
I had him from hello.. hello.. hello..
Was up!
hehe.. :D yet, i still got a few more..
Blame It On Your Heart -Patty Loveless
You've got a thing or two to learn about me baby
'Cause I ain't taking it no more and I don't mean maybe
You don't know right from wrong
Well the love we had is gone
So blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating,
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart
Well all I wanted was to be your one and only
And all I ever got from you was being lonely
Now that dream is laid to rest
'Cause you have failed the test
Hey blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating,
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart
Are you headed for a heartache, oh yeah
Gonna get a bad break, oh yeah
You made a bad mistake, oh yeah
Well, you're never gonna find another love like mine
Someone's gonna do you like you done me honey
And when she does you like she'll do you, it ain't funny
You need some sympathy
But don't be calling me
Hey blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart
Are you headed for a heartache, oh yeah
Gonna get a bad break, oh yeah
You made a bad mistake, oh yeah
Well, you're never gonna find another love like mine
Someone's gonna do you like you done me honey
And when she does you like she'll do you, it ain't funny
You need some sympathy
But don't be calling me
Hey blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart
Hey blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating, two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart
I'm That Kind Of Girl -Patty Loveless
There's a man in a Stetson hat, howlin' like an alley cat
Outside my window tonight
Sayin', "Baby, put on something hot, meet me in the parking lot
About a quarter to nine"
I get the feelin' that he's never read Romeo and Juliet
I'm gettin' tired of these one night stands
But if you wanna make a real romance
I'm that kind of girl, I'm that kind of girl
I ain't the woman in red, I ain't the girl next door
But if somewhere in the middle's what you're lookin' for
I'm that kind of girl, yes I'm that kind of girl
Let me tell you that I like my lovin' just as much as any woman
But I'm drawin' the line
A little sensitivity always seems to get to me every time
I'm a sucker for a love-sick fool
The kind that carries all your books in school
I'm getting tired of these one night stands
But if you're lookin' for a real romance
I'm that kind of girl, I'm that kind of girl
I ain't the woman in red, I ain't the girl next door
But if somewhere in the middle's what you're lookin' for
I'm that kind of girl, yes I'm that kind of girl
I'm that kind of girl, I'm that kind of girl
I ain't the woman in red, I ain't the girl next door
But if somewhere in the middle's what you're lookin' for
I'm that kind of girl, yes I'm that kind of girl
I'm that kind of girl, oh whoa
I'm that kind of girl, oh whoa
this isn't one that i'd sing for karaoke, i just love it too..
You Can't Take The Honky Tonk Out Of The Girl -Brooks & Dunn
Connie came back from her second cousin’s wedding
First time she’d been home in ‘bout a year or two
Just in time for the rehearsal dinner
But that crazy Connie wasn’t wearing any shoes
She lives in L.A. she flies to New York City
That woman’s been around the world
You can take that girl out of the honky tonk
But you can’t take the honky tonk, take the honky tonk
Outta the girl
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Well the dinner broke up at about 11:30
And the boys went off to do what boys will do
Connie said come here girls we need to huddle up
Around something that’s a hundred proof
She lives in L.A. she flies to New York City
That woman’s been around the world
You can take that girl out of the honky tonk
But you can’t take the honky tonk, take the honky tonk
Outta the girl
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
It’s nine a.m. in front of the church
People are going nuts just looking for the groom
And by the way where’s Connie
She’s run off with that boy in Cancun
She lives in L.A. she flies to New York City
That woman’s been around the world
You can take that girl out of the honky tonk
But you can’t take the honky tonk, take the honky tonk
Outta the girl
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
dont forget Tracy Byrd's "Drinkin' Bone" and other kewl ones too ;) hehe..
Mixed Feelings
i really love this song, and the one line (bold) is me..
Shut Up And Drive -Chely Wright
Shut up and drive
You don't know what you're talking about
He's not the one
You ought to know that by now
You've got one of those hearts
That keeps changing your mind
Your heart has a way of making you stay
So shut up and drive
Don't look in the mirror
He might have that look in his eyes
The one thats so strong
It strangles your will to survive
He's mastered the art
Of looking sincere
His eyes have a way of making you stay
Don't look in the mirror
I'm the voice you never listen to
And I had to break your heart to make you see
That he's the one who will be missing you
And you'll only miss the man
That you wanted him to be
Turn the radio on
To drown out the sound of goodbye
Blink back the tears
Show me you've still got your pride
Just get yourself lost
In a sad country song
Those guys that they play
Know just what to say
Turn the radio on.
I'm the voice you never listen to
And I had to break your heart to make you see
That he's the one who will be missing you
And you'll only miss the man
That you wanted him to be
Shut up and drive
Don't look in the mirror
Turn the radio on
Get out of here
Shut up and drive
Shut up and drive
Shut up and drive
i just really love this song..
When You Say Nothing At All -Alison Krauss
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
Now you say it best, when you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd
Old Mister Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
Now you say it best, when you say nothing at all
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
Now you say it best, when you say nothing at all
and here's just one more :)
Pour Me -Trick Pony
Pour me, pour me
Pour me, pour me another shot of whiskey
Bartender hit me one more time
He left, I cried
I'm lost inside, won't ya help me
Fill it to the top 'cause I hit rock bottom this time
Well I don't want to listen to the old jukebox
so don'tcha put no quarters in the slot
I don't wanna talk and I don't wanna dance
I dang sure ain't lookin' for romance
I don't wanna hang out with the crowd
I don't wanna party and get real loud
Believe me when I tell ya that I've thought this through
There's only one thing that I want you to do
Pour me, pour me
Pour me, pour me another shot of whiskey
Bartender hit me one more time
He left, I cried
I'm lost inside, won't ya help me
Fill it to the top 'cause I hit rock bottom this time
Here's my story, it's sad but it's true
There's so many things that I never knew
He loved to party and he loved to dance
He loved to get loud every time he had the chance
I always thought he was a simple-minded Okie
Little did I know he was the king of karaoke
He was everything that a man should be
Problem was that it wasn't with me
Pour me, pour me
Pour me, pour me another shot of whiskey
Bartender hit me one more time
He left, I cried
I'm lost inside, won't ya help me
Fill it to the top 'cause I hit rock bottom this time
nite everyone
